The Only Halloween Costume I’ll Ever Need

I went to the grocery store in this and got a lot of broad smiles.

I have the misfortune of liking costumes that look like people. Historical people, usually. It is always meant super sincerely — I really want to be that person — but can easily be taken the wrong way.

However, there is one interest group who still don’t mind if I represent them. Especially because, like the majority of people in the world, I am actually descended from them.


Faithful readers of this blog will object that, according to my own past posts, there is no reason to believe that Neanderthals carried clubs instead of more sophisticated weapons, or that they went around dressed in off-the-shoulder leopard skins. True. But a Halloween costume should be simple, iconic – a cartoon really – so that people can instantly recognize what you are supposed to be. So, I went with the off-the shoulder-leopard skin.

And used the remnants to make the handbag.

Neanderthal photo shoot

This was my dry run. The face paint was supposed to make my chin look weak, but apparently it comes off as a beard. Maybe on the 30th I’ll just give myself undereye circles and call it a day.

Also, you can’t see it, but there is a toy bone in my hair.


Should be able to use this costume for years to come.

4 thoughts on “The Only Halloween Costume I’ll Ever Need

    1. Well, there was a Halloween party going on nearby, so I thought I could get away with it. Also, there’s that thing where every time I go to a public place, I feel just as self-conscious as if I were wearing a costume. So it’s kind of the same really.

      Liked by 1 person

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